Stuck

Poliec in Topeka, Kan., reported that a man who attempted to rob a discount cigarette store was rescued by firefighters on Thursday, Nov. 12, after he got stuck in a ventilation pipe.

The suspect said he was stuck in the pipe for approximately three hours before he was able to call his daughter. His daughter called authorities and firefighters found the man stuck, his head down. The suspect was taken to a hospital and will be charged once he is released.

Topeka Police Lt. Chuck Haggard said the burglar "wasn't very cat-like" but noted that, if the man has to climb down pipes or chimneys, he still has time to get a job as the local mall Santa.

Brass

Henry Triplett of Henry's Jewelers in Toledo, Ohio, entered his store looking at thousands of dollars in damages. Thieves had smashed his front window and shattered the glass in all 13 of his display cases, stealing display cases full of rings.

Despite the horrid scene of his smashed store, however, Triplett couldn't help but smile at the thought of the thieves' reaction once they get to a pawn shop and find out that the rings in the display case weren't made of gold.

The gold rings, worth hundreds of dollars each, were all locked in a safe. All the thieves left the store with were brass ring replicas, provided by the ring manufacturers for display purposes. Each ring is worth approximately 25 cents.

Triplett said his only wish is that, if captured, the brass rings can be melted and turned into the handcuffs that the thieves are arrested with.

Bear

An 11-year-old in Driggs, Idaho, was at home with his younger sisters on Wednesday, Nov. 11, when an unwelcome visitor - a black bear - wouldn't leave. Authorities reported that the boy attempted to shoo the bear away, but when it wouldn't leave he decided to take the situation up several levels.

Instead of calling police to report the incident, the boy got his gun and shot the bear. The Idaho Department of Fish and Game, which had received several reports of black bears in the area, do not plan to press any charges against the boy or his family and even issued them a permit so they could keep the bear.

Still, they cautioned the boy about the dangers of bears and also gave him ideas to use in future encounters.

"Sure, shooting the bear is one way to solve the problem," a Fish and Game officer said, "but luring the bear away with a pot of honey or a big ole salmon is a perfectly acceptable substitute that creates a win-win for all people and bears involved."

Turkey

Car wrecks and professional sporting events aren't usually enough to slow the flow of traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike, but authorities have no clue how to handle a wild turkey. Authorities reported that the turkey has been running across toll booths, playing in traffic and sitting on top of the cars of toll collectors.

According to Turnpike Authority spokesman Joe Orlando, attempts made over the weekend to catch the turkey were not successful. They have since given up trying to catch the turkey and settled for the back-up plan: giving toll booth operators a traffic cone to put on top of their cars so the turkey won't jump and sit on the vehicles.

Many motorists think that the wild turkey is really an intelligent being who simply wants to boycott Thanksgiving traditions by creating all the havoc he can for motorists. The turkey is fighting an uphill battle, however, as the current scoreboard for November 2009 reads: Humans 233,943,037 - Turkey 3.